You are not alone

You are not alone

It’s easy to throw a pity party for yourself when you think about how hard you’ve had it but I can assure you that you are definitely not the only one who’s had difficulties, hardships and challenges. Although I do think that it’s not okay to compare our pains or try to diminish or dismiss somebody’s pain just because we think ours is harder to bear.  We all experience challenges on different levels and different capacities – but no pain is greater or lighter than the other, for the person living it it’s all just painful in that moment.

For instance, a young person, say a teenage girl who just had her heart broken by a boy that she loves, is in total disbelief of what just happened to her, she can’t believe this is happening to her – she is completely crushed, she doesn’t think she will ever love again (which is so not true because she will surely love again, she is only saying this because she is overcome by emotions right now), bottom line is, she is in pain.

And on the other hand, you have a couple who just lost their baby to incurable illness and they are crushed to a whole other level. The pain is absolutely indescribable. They are mourning, nothing and no one can console them at this point, they don’t think they will ever experience an ounce of joy again, their whole world just crumbled before their eyes, darkness has come into their lives and they think it’s here to stay, they don’t think they will ever see the light at the end of the tunnel one day. They are done.

And then, you have your average person, your regular guy, your everyday human being who doesn’t seem to get a break no matter what he does or tries. He can’t seem to get a decent job, he has been trying for a while but he doesn’t understand why he hasn’t been able to build a stable life just like everybody else (he thinks everyone else has life figured out except him, which he is obviously wrong). He thinks his problems are unfixable and he is losing hope which is the most heartbreaking thing.

These are three scenarios, where if these people were to sit down and have a conversation, they would realize how bad other people’s lives are too, and it would almost shut their complaints down. However, in the first scenario, a lot of people tend to minimize the pain of that little girl, myself included. But in that moment that girl is as heartbroken as the other two scenarios, she will probably realize it wasn’t that bad when she gets a little bit older and has more life experiences.

The point is, let’s not compare our pains. Let’s not assume that our situations are worse than other people’s, and let’s hear each other out and uplift each other instead of completely diminishing other people’s hurdles by thinking we have it worse. Instead, as we interact with each other, let us view these interactions as an opportunity to practice compassion by listening to one another and by genuinely caring for others like Jesus would.

Delphine R.

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